Who is God? Selective in Hearing, Justified to Ignore Prayers

The familiar highway slipped beneath our car; the muffled, singsong tone of the tires droned on and on. I sat in quiet nothingness, grieving in silence as my husband steered through the almost endless miles of I64. I didn’t feel the weariness of this long, 10+ hour journey as I had in years past. Indifferent to the GPS report of hours left to drive, I glanced in the backseat at our 9-year-old son enjoying unrestricted iPad time. Our daughter, four, slept content clutching her favorite pink blanket. The shrill ringtone of my phone jolted me to attention.  My phone screen flashed a very familiar name. The first time I met Margaret Eve (not her real name) was the summer of 1978 when my parents fled the pell-mell of San Diego, California, for a sleepy small town in southwest Missouri.

As I grew up, living straight across the street, Margaret and her devoted cats had a front porch view of every stage of my life, from infancy to marriage. Now in her 80s, the hundreds of visits and memories with Miss Eve swirled in my subconscious as I reached for the phone. She’s calling to say how sorry she is about my dad’s passing. In honesty, before my voice uttered “hello,” I hesitated to answer. Margaret’s well-known reputation stretched beyond the city limits of my hometown. My mother was one of few who tolerated her mean and rude personality, continually forgiving a slew of insults (please note Margaret passed away in 2016). Still, mom loved Margaret’s wit and intelligence. No surprise, Margaret had firm and fierce opinions on most everything and everyone.

On good days, Mom and Margaret, a retired art teacher, enjoyed exciting conversations about local and world-famous artists, politics, and whatever else brewed around town. When Margaret lashed out at my mom in bitterness (this happened often), mom would huff and puff, claim she’d never speak to her again, then forgive, make peace with our persnickety neighbor, and continue the friendship where they left off. Ignoring a twinge of caution, I answered the phone, planning to apologize for not stopping by to visit the last time I had come to see Dad in the nursing home. Our conversation went like this:

Hi Margaret, thank you for calling. We are on our way to….

You were NOT here when your dad died! You didn’t come for your mom; you are a SELFISH BRAT and you’re an AWFUL daughter…CLICK

I was stunned. I wasn’t stunned. Typical, but this hit exceptionally low, and Margaret’s timing couldn’t have been more inappropriate. I knew Dad was dying, but the exact timing I nor anyone else on earth knew except the Lord. Mom had tremendous support from local family members, plus their long-time church congregation. “But it’s your dad,” you may think. True, yet you must also understand our relationship. By his choosing, not mine, our relationship hovered between non-existent and distant. Actually, Mom and I did discuss my coming, but we both decided having to bring my young children (whom my dad did love but only occasionally and briefly interacted with) would be a huge distraction and make things more difficult in this somber moment. 

Whether right or wrong my decision to stay home during Dad’s final hours, I knew for certain after Margaret’s lambasting that unless she made amends, I would not dial her phone number for a cordial chat. Yes, Margaret did know better; she attended church each Sunday morning and claimed to be Christian. If she took the initiative to apologize (which would have been a miracle the likes of the Red Sea parting), I would absolutely forgive, but until then, the days of me listening to her commentary about the latest newspaper article or the shortfalls of the school board were over. 

Sunday School Sayings vs. Serious Reality

There are times we must sever a relationship, even if it’s temporary. I believe I had the right to step back and leave Margaret alone until she acknowledged her hurtful behavior. Question - Would you have done the same? Was I correct? Is God, at times, justified in refusing to listen? Or, while insisting upon our right to avoid others, do we demand Almighty God always listen to His children?

Chris Tomlin’s song, Whom Shall I Fear (released in 2012), became an instant favorite. The first line poetically calls to weary souls wondering if God hears their prayers (read the lyrics here: https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/christomlin/whomshallifeargodofangelarmies.html ). This is nice and reminds me of my present-every-time-the-church-doors-were-open Sunday school days where the teacher would chime, “God ALWAYS hears our prayers!” While this sounds good, is it, without exception, true? I mean no criticism of Chris Tomlin’s song; I understand the entirety of it and the message he tried to convey. However, as Christians, we must not construct a false personality in God Almighty that dictates He will never turn His ear away from His children. He has…and He will.

Yes, many comforting Bible verses exist about God hearing us, and He does, but ignoring His own words (spoken through His prophets) about times He refuses to hear is dangerous. After searching scripture, I gathered as many verses as I could find about God not listening. With my “not-a-scholar-Bible-College-dropout” understanding, I sorted these verses into three categories:

God refusing to listen to a group of people who are

known to Him (like the nation of Israel)

God refusing to listen to an individual who is

known by Him (for example, King David)

God refusing to listen to an individual or group of people

 who do not know Him

*Please note – many examples in scripture state or infer that God hears but refuses to answer/act. Three good examples are Psalm 18:41, James 1:6-8, and James 4:1-3. This article focuses on the verses that specifically say God will not hear, will not listen, or will not pay attention.  

Kingdom Association: = or ≠ to Kingdom Assistance

Since my introduction of Margaret, you may be thinking, Yep, I know someone similar. We probably all have our “Margarets” – those who claim Christ, but their words and actions scream otherwise. The ancient nation of Israel doubtless had an overabundance of people similar to my dear but exasperating Margaret.  The Israelites knew exactly who the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob was, yet despite multiple, incredible miracles God performed for their rescue, they continued to live as they pleased. For starters, they worshipped false gods, engaged in perverse sexual sin, and twisted God’s law to exalt themselves instead of Him. They ignored His call to holiness and righteousness until life got difficult. When neighboring nations conquered them, or they faced extreme trials, the people turned to the God they knew and, without changing their behavior, expected Him to swoop in with an astounding rescue. His response? What would yours be? Let’s first look at scripture in the category God refusing to listen to a group of people who are known to Him.  This group, by far, gives us the most Biblical references of God refusing to hear:

Deuteronomy 1:45 NKJV Then you (Israelites) returned and wept before the Lord, but the Lord would not listen to your voice nor give ear to you. This must be read in context. The entire chapter of 1st Deuteronomy details the continual, stubborn rebellion of the people of Israel as a whole. Over and over, the people refused to believe God, declined to trust Him, and tried to make their own way. It is then, at the end of Chapter 1, the Lord says, “I will not listen.”

1 Samuel 8:18 NKJV And you (Israelites) will cry out in that day because of your king whom you have chosen for yourselves, and the Lord will not hear you in that day. This is because, in verse 7, the Lord says, “They have rejected Me, that I should not reign over them.”)

Isaiah 59:1-2 NLT Listen! The Lord’s arm is not too weak to save you, nor is His ear too deaf to hear you call. It’s your (Israel as a nation) sins that have cut you off from God. Because of your sins, He has turned away and will not listen anymore.

Isaiah 1:15 NKJV When you (the tribe of Judah, God’s people) spread out your hands, I will hide My eyes from you; Even though you make many prayers, I will not hear. Your hands are full of blood.

Jeremiah 7:16 NKJV Therefore do not pray for this people, nor lift up a cry or prayer for them, nor make intercession to Me; for I will not hear you. This is because verse 12 - “of the wickedness of My people Israel,” and verse 18, “they pour out drink offerings to other gods…”

Jeremiah 11: 11,14 NKJV …though they (Israel/Judah who went after false gods) cry out to Me, I will not listen to them…So do not pray for this people, or lift up a cry or prayer for them; for I will not hear them in the time that they cry out to Me because of their trouble.

Jeremiah 14:11-12 NLT Then the Lord said to me, “Do not pray for these people (God’s people, His chosen ones who have lived wickedly) anymore. When they fast, I will pay no attention…” 

Lamentations 3: 42-44 NIV We (Israel/Judah) have sinned and rebelled, and You have not forgiven. You have covered Yourself with anger and pursued us; You have slain without pity. You have covered Yourself with a cloud so that no prayer can get through.

Ezekiel 8:18 NKJV …I also will act in fury. My eye will not spare nor will I have pity; and though they (Israel/Judah as the people worshiped false gods in the Lord’s temple) cry in My ears with a loud voice, I will not hear them.

Micah 3:4 NKJV Then they (verse 1, “heads of Jacob, And you rulers of the house of Israel,” and verse 2, “those who hate good and love evil”) will cry to the Lord, But He will not hear them; He will even hide His face from them at that time, Because they have been evil in their deeds.

Zechariah 7:11-13 NKJV Yes, they (Israel) made their hearts like flint, refusing to hear the law and the words which the Lord of hosts had sent by His Spirit through the former prophets. Thus great wrath came from the Lord of hosts. Therefore it happened, that just as He proclaimed and they would not hear, so they called out and I would not listen,” says the Lord of hosts.

1 Peter 3:7 NKJV Husbands (Peter is speaking to “God’s chosen people” as noted in 1 Peter 1:1), likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered. Not quite “God won’t listen,” but close enough, I believe, to be included in this list. The Greek word used for “hindered” is egkoptó (G1465), which means “to cut into, impede, or to block.”

Those Who Know Better Should Do Better

I’ll never forget the drama mom caused one fall afternoon when filled with compassion and armed with branch clippers, she trotted across the street to carefully trim away dead limbs at the bottom of Margaret’s prized Magnolia tree. Margaret, not at home that morning, had mentioned the dried branches before, and Mom knew her aging neighbor could not bend down and remove them, so, mom planned a “surprise.”  Margaret’s response to said “surprise”? A threatened lawsuit. It was “a while” before Mom made the trek across our street to listen to Margaret’s opinion on the regional electric company or the incompetence of the town mayor. As we learned above, God has no problem turning away from His own people as a whole because of their wickedness. It should be no surprise He will do the same for individuals. This category, God refusing to listen to an individual who is known by Him only has two verses (Are there others? If I’ve missed any, please send me a message!), but they must not be ignored:

Psalm 66:18-19 NLT If I (King David) had not confessed the sin in my heart, the Lord would not have listened. But God did listen! He paid attention to my prayer. King David was “a man after God’s own heart,” so he was “known” by Him. The reason God DID listen to David is because David confessed the sin in his heart and changed his ways. David made it clear that had he not done so, God would have turned His ear away from him.

Proverbs 28:9 NKJV [The] one who turns away his ear from hearing the law, Even his prayer is an abomination. Or GNT: If you do not obey the law, God will find your prayers too hateful to hear. Again, I believe this is referring to one “known by God” – “the law” references the teachings of Moses and would have only been known to the Israelites or the foreigners living among them (whom God accepted as well).

Unknown Caller-ID

Finally, if relationships matter to us, they certainly matter to God. I can still recall the twinkle in Margaret’s eye and the broad smile on her face as she recounted her latest telemarketer victim.  A stranger calling Margaret without her approval would reap a world-class, top-of-the-line tongue-lashing—woe to the caller who got their “what for” from this non-gullible, feisty senior. Most of us will choose to listen to people we know versus total strangers, but don’t worry!  God will ALWAYS listen when a lost soul calls to Him for the first time in repentance and a willingness to change the way they think and act (Romans 10:9-13, Acts 2:38). However, to understand when God chooses to ignore people, we must finish with the obvious but important category of God refusing to listen to an individual or group of people who do not know Him: 

Joshua 24:10 NLT Then Balak son of Zippor, king of Moab, started a war against Israel. He summoned Balaam son of Beor to curse you (Israel), but I would not listen to him. Instead, I made Balaam bless you, and so I rescued you from Balak. 

Job 27:8-9 NLT (Job says) For what hope do the godless (profane, irreligious) have when God cuts them off and takes away their life? Will God listen to their cry when trouble comes upon them?

Job 35:12-13 NKJV Note: These are words of “Elihu,” and at the end of the book of Job, we see his counsel was “in error” because God said, “You didn’t speak what is right about Me…” Personally I believe the book of Job does not detail actual events, but was probably a play or story written by Moses or Solomon. Regardless, the book of Job does contain truth about God, and these verses I do think are confirmed in other scriptures, so I’ll include them here: There they (descendants of Adam from vs. 8) cry out, but He does not answer, Because of the pride of evil men. Surely God will not listen to empty talk (emptiness, nothingness, vanity), nor will the Almighty regard it. Or, The Message Version of Job 35: 9-13 reads, When times get bad, people (those who don’t care about God) cry out for help. They cry for relief from being kicked around, but never give God a thought when things go well…People are arrogantly indifferent to God—until, of course, they’re in trouble, and then God is indifferent to them. There’s nothing behind such prayers except panic; the Almighty pays them no mind. 

1 Peter 3:12 NIV For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and his ears are attentive to their prayer, but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil (Peter is quoting David here in Psalm 34:15-16). Not quite “God won’t hear,” but I think this one is close enough to be included in the list.

*NOTE: I found other verses about “not hearing,” but they are “outliers” – these are listed at the end of the article.

Assured Hearing? It’s a Heart Issue

It may appear hard to accept, but it is undeniable – God, at times, will NOT listen. I don’t know about you, but I never want to give Him a valid reason to ignore me. His favor, His blessing, and His protection cannot compare with anyone or anything on earth. Remove His presence from your life, and the devil no doubt will take advantage of a chance to steal, kill, and destroy. God is holy. He is righteous. He does not lower His standards. If we claim Christ but act no different than those who reject Him, will He be “all ears” when disaster comes knocking at our door?

For the record, I continued to pray for Margaret until she passed. In all honesty, her bitterness lay rooted in a painful past. Before she died, Holy Spirit prompted me to passionately intercede for her, that she would just once in humility cry out to Jesus so He could truly save her. I can only trust she did, and I look forward to seeing my friend in heaven one day. Until I see Jesus face to face, I will continue to document the absolute truth about who God is. I’d love to believe no matter what, God will always hear me and move in His strength and power every time I pray, regardless of my behavior, but it isn’t true.

So, is there a way to guarantee God will hear us? I can reference many Bible verses, but I believe the simplest is best: Psalm 51:17 (AMP) A broken and contrite heart [broken with sorrow for sin, thoroughly penitent], such, O God, You will never despise. 

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Other Verses not categorized:

Proverbs 1: 28-30 NKJV Then they (I believe “they” is “gullible, mockers, fools” from vs. 22) will call on me (Wisdom speaking here), but I (Wisdom) will not answer; They will seek me diligently, but they will not find me. Because they hated knowledge and did not choose the fear of the Lord,…

Proverbs 21:13 NKJV Whoever shuts his ears to the cry of the poor will also cry himself and not be heard. This may or may not reference prayer.

Psalm 22:2 NKJV O My God, I cry in the daytime, but You do not hear; And in the night season, and am not silent. I believe this is prophecy, poetry - a foreshadowing of the cry of Jesus on the cross.

Habakkuk 1:2 NLT How long, O Lord, must I call for help? But you do not listen! “Violence is everywhere!” I cry, but you do not come to save. This is a personal plea from Habakkuk. He feels God isn’t hearing him, but God has indeed been hearing him, and God responds to Habakkuk in following verses. God tells him what he does not want to hear – the Babylonian army will issue judgment on the people of Israel because of their wickedness.

John 9:31 AMP We know [according to your tradition] that God does not hear sinners; but if anyone fears God and does His will, He hears him. This must be looked at in context. The man who said this was born blind, but Jesus restored his sight. The Jews argued with the man and touted, “We KNOW God spoke to Moses, but we don’t know where THIS man (referring to Jesus) came from.” It was at this point the “sight restored” man came to Jesus’ defense, stating that God would not “hear Jesus” and perform such a great miracle if Jesus was a sinner. I like the Amplified version the best because it adds “according to your tradition” to clarify the healed man’s statement. If God truly “does not hear sinners,” then no one would be able to come to Him for salvation! What the man, I believe, was trying to say is, “God doesn’t hear like that – hearing someone to the point of performing such an astounding miracle if he/she is a sinner and does not fear Him.”